Exam: 2003 Free-Response Questions
Question 2: "The following passage is an excerpt from “The Other Paris,” a short story by the Canadian writer Mavis Gallant. Read the passage carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, explain how the author uses narrative voice and characterization to provide social commentary."
Student Response: YYY
YYY's student response depicts exceptional comprehension of the excerpt through their ability to recognize the satire, irony, circular logic, and overall foolishness of the characters—Howard and Carol. These techniques are stated at the very beginning which clearly point out the main points of their essay to the reader. They acknowledge the excessive and mindless pressure society has placed onto getting married quickly which seems to be the surface of the piece. However, the essay also exemplifies Gallant's mockery/ridicule of that expectation placed on marriage which demonstrates a higher level of understanding. The writer adds their own insightful interpretation of the excerpt in many ways to convey the characters' folly. The writer states that it would make more sense to "marry for love...and adopt the current circumstances to fit married life," and predicts that Howard and Carol will blame "not meeting initial conditions" when their marriage fails (even though the culprit is love). YYY's ability to capture these many ideas in their essay would earn them an 9. The only weakness I found was their lack of direct quotes, and almost excessive paraphrasing at the end of the second paragraph where they mention the characters' shared religion and the champagne.
Student Response: CCC
CCC's student response depicts what I believe is a sufficient understanding of Gallant's work. The writer remains focused on and answers the prompt fairly well. Unlike the other response, CCC lacks the thorough detail YYY places on the ludicrous proposal and college lectures as a statement to societal pressures on marriage. Half of the second paragraph is a just paraphrased summary of "The Other Paris." The analytical thinking that follows is quite simplistic— the expectations placed on marriage is "comical" yet many people still conform to fit them. The author fails to impressively acknowledge the characterization part of their essay, generalizing the characters as victims to society's power. Though, this is fairly adequate. The writer could've expanded on the characterization aspect by mentioning Carol's failed relationship with the medical student. This would've exhibited the writer's acknowledgement of Carol's past as emphasis on criteria over emotional attachment by society. The only specific insight readers get is when the writer calls them "sensible" which is inconsistent to when the writer stated that those who follow marriage expectations are doing so blindly (sensible people don't follow things blindly). For these reasons, I would score CCC's essay as a 5.
Student Response: JJJ
Unlike YYY's student response, JJJ was unsuccessful in forming a well-built insightful analysis or specific argument. Unlike CCC's students response, JJJ failed to grasp even a surface level understanding of how "The Other Paris" provided social commentary. The writer argues that the narrator has a "certain voice" because the narration has a "personal tone" without explaining what either of those ideas mean. The writer states that these ideas exemplify the main character's conflict and social concerns...also without explaining what the conflict or concerns even are. The word "insecure" is probably used a hundred times in the third paragraph, but that's beside the point. The author centers their attention on Howard and Carol's insecurities, displaying the reason behind each distinctly. The paragraph focuses on why the characters are insecure while how the satire/irony of their insecurities tie into societal pressures is completely missed in expense. The argument JJJ is making isn't cohesive as tones and insecurities have nothing to do with each other. If anything, it just just confused me more. Their points never allude to the nonsense and nearly absurd expectations placed on the characters to disregard their emotions for marriage. Instead, their essay is solely made up of vague details about tone and insecurity that don't connect/unite to make a comment about society. Because of this, I would score JJJ's response as a 3.
Question 2: "The following passage is an excerpt from “The Other Paris,” a short story by the Canadian writer Mavis Gallant. Read the passage carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, explain how the author uses narrative voice and characterization to provide social commentary."
Student Response: YYY
YYY's student response depicts exceptional comprehension of the excerpt through their ability to recognize the satire, irony, circular logic, and overall foolishness of the characters—Howard and Carol. These techniques are stated at the very beginning which clearly point out the main points of their essay to the reader. They acknowledge the excessive and mindless pressure society has placed onto getting married quickly which seems to be the surface of the piece. However, the essay also exemplifies Gallant's mockery/ridicule of that expectation placed on marriage which demonstrates a higher level of understanding. The writer adds their own insightful interpretation of the excerpt in many ways to convey the characters' folly. The writer states that it would make more sense to "marry for love...and adopt the current circumstances to fit married life," and predicts that Howard and Carol will blame "not meeting initial conditions" when their marriage fails (even though the culprit is love). YYY's ability to capture these many ideas in their essay would earn them an 9. The only weakness I found was their lack of direct quotes, and almost excessive paraphrasing at the end of the second paragraph where they mention the characters' shared religion and the champagne.
Student Response: CCC
CCC's student response depicts what I believe is a sufficient understanding of Gallant's work. The writer remains focused on and answers the prompt fairly well. Unlike the other response, CCC lacks the thorough detail YYY places on the ludicrous proposal and college lectures as a statement to societal pressures on marriage. Half of the second paragraph is a just paraphrased summary of "The Other Paris." The analytical thinking that follows is quite simplistic— the expectations placed on marriage is "comical" yet many people still conform to fit them. The author fails to impressively acknowledge the characterization part of their essay, generalizing the characters as victims to society's power. Though, this is fairly adequate. The writer could've expanded on the characterization aspect by mentioning Carol's failed relationship with the medical student. This would've exhibited the writer's acknowledgement of Carol's past as emphasis on criteria over emotional attachment by society. The only specific insight readers get is when the writer calls them "sensible" which is inconsistent to when the writer stated that those who follow marriage expectations are doing so blindly (sensible people don't follow things blindly). For these reasons, I would score CCC's essay as a 5.
Student Response: JJJ
Unlike YYY's student response, JJJ was unsuccessful in forming a well-built insightful analysis or specific argument. Unlike CCC's students response, JJJ failed to grasp even a surface level understanding of how "The Other Paris" provided social commentary. The writer argues that the narrator has a "certain voice" because the narration has a "personal tone" without explaining what either of those ideas mean. The writer states that these ideas exemplify the main character's conflict and social concerns...also without explaining what the conflict or concerns even are. The word "insecure" is probably used a hundred times in the third paragraph, but that's beside the point. The author centers their attention on Howard and Carol's insecurities, displaying the reason behind each distinctly. The paragraph focuses on why the characters are insecure while how the satire/irony of their insecurities tie into societal pressures is completely missed in expense. The argument JJJ is making isn't cohesive as tones and insecurities have nothing to do with each other. If anything, it just just confused me more. Their points never allude to the nonsense and nearly absurd expectations placed on the characters to disregard their emotions for marriage. Instead, their essay is solely made up of vague details about tone and insecurity that don't connect/unite to make a comment about society. Because of this, I would score JJJ's response as a 3.
Kathy ~ Superbly done!! =)
ReplyDelete