Looking back on what we have done the past month, I found that most of our time was spent reading and analyzing The Kite Runner. Reading this novel has been a memorable experience for me. I grew to love and hate the characters while crying a little (a lot) at some parts. The Kite Runner was extremely fascinating to analyze but it also gave me a lot of insight to a Afghan society and culture. While the book's overarching themes seems to be geared toward guilt and redemption, I was more intrigued by the underlying social, economic, and ethnic disparities Khaled Hosseini presented throughout the book. I think it tied in beautifully with the theme— guilt and redemption can be experienced by all people despite the many differences that divide them. While I thought that the writing was lovely (except the end wow that was a mess), I did feel like the novel was hard to analyze at times. The symbols such as the pomegranate tree, eyes, and deformations were presented too straightforwardly and obviously. It was harder to draw underlying meanings and in-depth analysis for me than it was with The American Dream. I was able to see everyone else's interpretations of certain moments through discussion. Many interesting ideas were brought up such as how deformation of a character signal a person who was generally good on the inside or the broken glasses of the orphanage owner. To tie in the whole unit together, we took an open prompt test. I don't do well under pressure. It was a good reminder how fast I have to think and work when timed.
We continued to work on the poetry portion of the closed prompts. I think that I have improved as an essay writing and the comments that I have received have been quite helpful. I've learned that poetry focuses a lot more on the DIDLS of literature. It's interesting to see how sentence structure, length, rhyme schemes, and diction affect the overall meaning of the story. While poetry is harder to understand, it is a lot easier for me to analyze in comparison to proses.
While we have focused on the writing aspect of the AP exam all year, we took our first practice MC test. I realized that I need to work on time as I definitely ran out of time at the end. I was rushing and I didn't even read the last few prompts. When we went over our scores, I learned that I kind of suck at the multiple choice. Although those scores were rough, I feel that I am a strong essay writer. If I improve my MC skills by looking at practice tests and reading tips, I may be able to bring my score up for the next time. The practice test helped me realize that I should put more effort into working on my weaknesses.
Within the last week, we started reading Oedipus which has been really new for me. The two other books we have read were The American Dream and The Kite Runner which are both relatively recent. Oedipus was written a long, long, long time ago. It was fascinating learning about the history and backstory of the play. It was also a lot of fun listening to my class recite their lines. Some people really got into their roles. It's interesting to see how the lessons we can learn from extremely old pieces of literature can still be prevalent today. After reading "Fate, Freedom, and the Tragic Experience: An Introductory Lecture on Sophocles's Oedipus the King" which was a whopping twenty five pages, I felt as if I had a knew much more about tragic heroes. It intriguing how much more satisfying tragic heroes can be compared to comic ones. The article also help me see Oedipus in a new light, someone who is strong in the assertion of his beliefs rather than a stubborn self-absorbed idiot. It's interesting discussing its meaning as a class and I look forward for what is to come in the unit!
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Sunday, December 2, 2018
CLOSED PROMPT 2: POETRY 2
Exam: 2006 Free-Response Questions
Question 1: Read the following poem carefully. Then write a well-organized essay in which you analyze how the poet uses language to describe the scene and to convey mood and meaning.
Question 1: Read the following poem carefully. Then write a well-organized essay in which you analyze how the poet uses language to describe the scene and to convey mood and meaning.
As the scope of human knowledge and technical innovations advance, many often view mankind as the superior species yet Robert Penn Warren crafts a poem that seems to argue the opposite. By using the hawk as a symbol of nature, the force of nature is constructed as wise and enduring under a dark and mysterious mood. The insignificance and fragility of humankind in comparison to the world is illustrated in the poem's language. Through diction, similes, and metaphors, "Evening Hawk" depicts the inferiority of the humanity under the overbearing and omniscient power of nature.
Robert Penn Warren's diction "Evening Hawk" establishes the complex and dominant force of nature by using contrasting words. Initially the hawk is seen "dipping [its wings] through / Geometries and orchids." Words like "Geometries" and "angularity" paint the logical rather than idyllic reality of nature, making it appear rigid and cold. However, the word "orchids" has connotations of beauty and love which characterizes the force of nature in a more romantic light. These conflicting descriptions add to the poem's mysterious mood. Through "the sunset [that] builds, / Out of the peak’s black angularity of shadow," light is used to contrast the dark in the poem. The light and darkness reflect the good and bad sides of nature. While light is generally associated with goodness, Warren's negative description of light as a "tumultuous avalanche" serves as a reminder that even the positive aspects of nature can be foreboding and ominous. By using dissimilar description words and twisting favorable traits, Warren emphasizes the strength and all-knowing power of the force of nature.
By using metaphors and similars, Robert Penn Warren compares the insignificance of humanity to the brute force of nature. Warren compares the hawk's wing a to a scythe with a "honed steel-edge" that cuts the "stalks of Time." The hawk metaphorically cuts the idea of "Time" because it sees the futility of humanity's attempts to control the world. The hawk sees time as useless and "heavy with the gold of...error." This is because the "earth [will] grind on its axis" and continue to progress whether time exists or not. Complexities with the hawk depicted with its judgement of mankind's corruption. The hawk views the world with an "eye, unforgiving, [as] the world, unforgiven, swings / Into shadow." Though the hawk has the capability to forgive, it chooses not to for a reason that is unclear. By doing this, Warren maintains a dark and mysterious mood while revealing another weakness of humankind. The hawk also sees humankind's "history / Drip in darkness like a leaking pipe in the cellar." Because a cellar is found below ground, it hints that the hawk looks down at humanity's history. The darkness in the simile reveals that history has long been forgotten and unclear. Thus mankind's past is trivial and unsuccessful in comparison to the eminent scope of nature's force.
While Robert Penn Warren makes fascinating points about humanity in his poem "Evening Hawk," it may not be a unique view. However, he is able to employ his arguments in a his own style through the use of diction, simile, and metaphors. Warren's personal language crafts a dark and mysterious mood through his depiction of mankind's subordination to nature's commanding and wise force. All of this is smoothly done with a comparison to a hawk.
Robert Penn Warren's diction "Evening Hawk" establishes the complex and dominant force of nature by using contrasting words. Initially the hawk is seen "dipping [its wings] through / Geometries and orchids." Words like "Geometries" and "angularity" paint the logical rather than idyllic reality of nature, making it appear rigid and cold. However, the word "orchids" has connotations of beauty and love which characterizes the force of nature in a more romantic light. These conflicting descriptions add to the poem's mysterious mood. Through "the sunset [that] builds, / Out of the peak’s black angularity of shadow," light is used to contrast the dark in the poem. The light and darkness reflect the good and bad sides of nature. While light is generally associated with goodness, Warren's negative description of light as a "tumultuous avalanche" serves as a reminder that even the positive aspects of nature can be foreboding and ominous. By using dissimilar description words and twisting favorable traits, Warren emphasizes the strength and all-knowing power of the force of nature.
By using metaphors and similars, Robert Penn Warren compares the insignificance of humanity to the brute force of nature. Warren compares the hawk's wing a to a scythe with a "honed steel-edge" that cuts the "stalks of Time." The hawk metaphorically cuts the idea of "Time" because it sees the futility of humanity's attempts to control the world. The hawk sees time as useless and "heavy with the gold of...error." This is because the "earth [will] grind on its axis" and continue to progress whether time exists or not. Complexities with the hawk depicted with its judgement of mankind's corruption. The hawk views the world with an "eye, unforgiving, [as] the world, unforgiven, swings / Into shadow." Though the hawk has the capability to forgive, it chooses not to for a reason that is unclear. By doing this, Warren maintains a dark and mysterious mood while revealing another weakness of humankind. The hawk also sees humankind's "history / Drip in darkness like a leaking pipe in the cellar." Because a cellar is found below ground, it hints that the hawk looks down at humanity's history. The darkness in the simile reveals that history has long been forgotten and unclear. Thus mankind's past is trivial and unsuccessful in comparison to the eminent scope of nature's force.
While Robert Penn Warren makes fascinating points about humanity in his poem "Evening Hawk," it may not be a unique view. However, he is able to employ his arguments in a his own style through the use of diction, simile, and metaphors. Warren's personal language crafts a dark and mysterious mood through his depiction of mankind's subordination to nature's commanding and wise force. All of this is smoothly done with a comparison to a hawk.
Sunday, November 18, 2018
CLOSED PROMPT 2: POETRY 1
Exam: 2008 Free-Response Questions
Question 1: "In the two poems below, Keats and Longfellow reflect on similar concerns. Read the poems carefully. Then write an essay in which you compare and contrast the two poems, analyzing the poetic techniques each writer uses to explore his particular situation."
Many writers attempt to reflect the inevitability of death in their writing, and Keats and Longfellow are no different. Through the use tone, diction, and imagery, "When I Have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin" capture each poet's regrets, unfulfilled dream, and the value of life itself. However, their work begins to stray from each other as they progress. Keats's initial sorrow transforms into acceptance of his approaching death while Longfellow's transforms into increasing panic. Keats views death as an opportunity to peacefully contemplate life. Longfellow views death as sudden and tragic.
Question 1: "In the two poems below, Keats and Longfellow reflect on similar concerns. Read the poems carefully. Then write an essay in which you compare and contrast the two poems, analyzing the poetic techniques each writer uses to explore his particular situation."
Many writers attempt to reflect the inevitability of death in their writing, and Keats and Longfellow are no different. Through the use tone, diction, and imagery, "When I Have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin" capture each poet's regrets, unfulfilled dream, and the value of life itself. However, their work begins to stray from each other as they progress. Keats's initial sorrow transforms into acceptance of his approaching death while Longfellow's transforms into increasing panic. Keats views death as an opportunity to peacefully contemplate life. Longfellow views death as sudden and tragic.
The similarities in "When I have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin" are found in the beginning where Keats and Longfellow express the briefness of life. Keats acknowledges that he has “fears that... [he] may cease to be." However, he is more fearful of dying before his "pen has glean’d...[his] teeming brain/ Before high piled books, in charactery.” Thus revealing that Keats is afraid of leaving his literary goals unfinished. However, his uneasy tone reveals that Keats recognizes life as fleeting and its quick end. Longfellow begins his poem with "Half of my life is gone, and I have let / The years slip from me" which shows that he also painfully aware the short-nature of life despite being only midway through. Like Keats, Longfellow shares a similar tone and his concerns of dying before accomplishing "the aspirations of... [his] youth." Both men are able to grasp the preciousness of life and the lack of time they have to attain their goals.
In the middle of their poems, Keats and Longfellow reminisce of their pasts and lament on their regrets yet the diction indicates that roots of each poet's regrets is different. Keats uses phrases such as "Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance," "magic hand of chance," and "faery power" which contain words that have a magical and fantasy-like connotation. It illustrates his belief that the wonders and joys of life, like love, happen by chance. Unable to experience these things, Keats looks back on his life, showing remorse for all of things he was not able to do. On the other hand, Longfellow explains that "sorrow.../ Kept...[him] from what... [he] may accomplish." This shows that Longfellow regrets what he has done, letting sorrow and paranoia control his life, rather than what he has not done.
The imagery at the end of each poem ultimately illustrates where each author differs as they handle their impending deaths in two different natures. Keats describes himself "on the shore / Of the wide world." The seashore serves as symbol of life and death in which he "stand[s] alone and think[s]." Keats views death itself as a slow process where he can reflect in solitude about his past. The image of a shore is gives off a more tranquil feeling when compared the the unease expressed at the beginning. Longfellow depicts death as a waterfall that is "thundering from the heights." This image paints death as more sudden and loud. The "blast" in "autumnal blast" makes death seem more jarring and powerful. Because "autumnal" is symbolic of aging, death is also portrayed as dreadful and looming. All of this emphasizes his inability to cope and come to terms with his death, most likely because he has more years to live than Keats does.
Although death is a topic that appears frequently through literature, Keats and Longfellow share many different attitudes towards death in their poems "When I Have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin." While both poets begin with unease, Keats's tone becomes more accepting while Longfellow's becomes dreadful. How they cope with death is also unique. They are able to successfully employ their similar yet distinct views of death by using tone, diction, and imagery.
Although death is a topic that appears frequently through literature, Keats and Longfellow share many different attitudes towards death in their poems "When I Have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin." While both poets begin with unease, Keats's tone becomes more accepting while Longfellow's becomes dreadful. How they cope with death is also unique. They are able to successfully employ their similar yet distinct views of death by using tone, diction, and imagery.
Saturday, November 17, 2018
CLOSED PROMPT 2: POETRY 1
Exam: 2008 Free-Response Questions
Question 1: "In the two poems below, Keats and Longfellow reflect on similar concerns. Read the poems carefully. Then write an essay in which you compare and contrast the two poems, analyzing the poetic techniques each writer uses to explore his particular situation."
Many writers attempt to reflect the inevitability of death in their writing, and Keats and Longfellow are no different. Through the use tone, diction, and imagery, "When I Have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin" capture each poet's regrets, unfulfilled dream, and the value of life itself. However, their work begins to stray from each other as they progress. Keats's initial sorrow transforms into acceptance of his approaching death while Longfellow's transforms into increasing panic. Keats views death as an opportunity to peacefully contemplate life. Longfellow arrives to the same conclusion but does so by viewing death as sudden and tragic.
Question 1: "In the two poems below, Keats and Longfellow reflect on similar concerns. Read the poems carefully. Then write an essay in which you compare and contrast the two poems, analyzing the poetic techniques each writer uses to explore his particular situation."
Many writers attempt to reflect the inevitability of death in their writing, and Keats and Longfellow are no different. Through the use tone, diction, and imagery, "When I Have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin" capture each poet's regrets, unfulfilled dream, and the value of life itself. However, their work begins to stray from each other as they progress. Keats's initial sorrow transforms into acceptance of his approaching death while Longfellow's transforms into increasing panic. Keats views death as an opportunity to peacefully contemplate life. Longfellow arrives to the same conclusion but does so by viewing death as sudden and tragic.
The similarities in "When I have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin" are found in the beginning where Keats and Longfellow express the briefness of life. Keats acknowledges that he has “fears that... [he] may cease to be." However, he is more fearful of dying before his "pen has glean’d...[his] teeming brain/ Before high piled books, in charactery.” Thus revealing that Keats afraid of leaving his literary goals unfinished. He is afraid of dying without having the chance to write all he wants. He is afraid of dying without writing many books. However, his uneasy tone reveals that Keats recognizes life as fleeting and its quick end. Longfellow begins his poem with "Half of my life is gone, and I have let / The years slip from me" which shows that he also painfully aware the short-nature of life despite being only midway through. Like Keats, Longfellow shares a similar tone and his concerns of dying before accomplishing "the aspirations of... [his] youth." Both men are able to grasp the preciousness of life and the lack of time they have to attain their goals.
In the middle of their poems, Keats and Longfellow reminisce of their pasts and lament on their regrets yet the diction indicates that roots of each poet's regrets is different. Keats uses phrases such as "Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance," "magic hand of chance," and "faery power" which have a magical and fantasy-like connotation. It illustrates his belief that the wonders and joys of life, like love, happen by chance. Unable to experience these things, Keats looks back on his life, showing remorse for all of things he was not able to do. On the other hand, Longfellow explains that "sorrow.../ Kept...[him] from what... [he] may accomplish." This shows that Longfellow regrets what he has done, letting sorrow and paranoia control his life, rather than what he has not done.
The imagery at the end of each poem ultimately illustrates where each author differs as they handle their impending deaths in two different natures. Keats describes himself "on the shore / Of the wide world." The seashore serves as symbol of life and death in which he "stand[s] alone and think[s]." Keats views death itself as a slow process where he can reflect in solitude about his past. The image of a shore is gives off a more tranquil feeling when compared the the unease expressed at the beginning. Longfellow depicts death as a waterfall that is "thundering from the heights." This image paints death as more sudden and loud. The "blast" in "autumnal blast" makes death seem more jarring and powerful. Because "autumnal" is symbolic of aging, death is also portrayed as dreadful and looming. All of this emphasizes his inability to cope and come to terms with his death, most likely because he has more years to live than Keats does.
Although death is a topic that appears frequently through literature, Keats and Longfellow share many different attitudes towards death in their poems "When I Have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin." While both poets begin with unease, Keats's tone becomes more accepting while Longfellow's becomes dreadful. How they cope with death is also unique. They are able to successfully employ their similar yet distinct views of death by using tone, diction, and imagery.
Although death is a topic that appears frequently through literature, Keats and Longfellow share many different attitudes towards death in their poems "When I Have Fears" and "Mezzo Cammin." While both poets begin with unease, Keats's tone becomes more accepting while Longfellow's becomes dreadful. How they cope with death is also unique. They are able to successfully employ their similar yet distinct views of death by using tone, diction, and imagery.
Saturday, November 10, 2018
RESPONSE TO COURSE MATERIAL 2
When looking back at all of the things we did this month, I was extremely surprised by the fact that we have been reading and analyzing The American Dream for a whole month. Before we could read, we learned the basics of play in the articles, “Theories of Humor and Comedy,” “Theater of the Absurd,” and “Existentialism 101.” After annotating and discussing them, I had a much stronger grasp of Existentialism and Theatre of the Absurd. I thought it was intriguing how Existentialist believed that those to who try to ignore the responsibility they carry from their actions cannot live an authentic life while those who accept the burden of responsibility can. It makes you wonder if you're accepting it or constantly trying to escape from that responsibility. However, my favorite part of the articles was looking at Absurdist philosophy. There is a lot of elements that contribute to an Absurdist work that give it meaning while also confusing the readers heavily. These elements and themes such as repetition, lack of values in the modern world, and breakdown of communication were things I could clearly see in The American Dream.
After the first read through of The American Dream, I was extremely confused. We discussed as a class what we thought the significance of the title and the play was. Our discussions mostly were directed at the immigration and the idea of the "American Dream" that many immigrants carried. I didn't feel as if that was right, especially after reading the "A Supermarket in California" by Allen Ginsberg. I drew similar parallels to each work as a criticism of American conformity, consumerism, and artificialness. Our class finally came to this conclusion with the help of Grandma. By using the poem "I Hear America Singing" by Walt Whitman, we could see Grandma as a stand in of American values.
Finishing the first read and discussion, we were given more articles that provided insight into the play's symbols and Edward Albee's personal life. I was amazed by all of the themes and archetypes that Albee used subtly and that I had completely missed. It was quite incredible to see how thought out the play was in its meaning and techniques amidst the nonsense and repetition. I was also shocked at how much of Albee's personal life was seen in the play as an adopted child. I could clearly see it in Grandma's preference to Daddy rather than Mommy as well as the emptiness of the Young Man. This articles led us into our second read of The American Dream and a nearly a week of discussion. I was able to experience and see everyone's unique interpretation of the themes and characters. I really liked discussing the power and status dynamics of the play as that was seen in the articles. While Grandma had the most power, her status was certainly the lowest. It was amazing to see how clever Edward Albee was in illustrating this idea, and the futility of gender roles by switching them with Mommy and Daddy as well.
This last week has served as a conclusion for many things. Our understanding of the literary terms were nailed in with a literary terms test. We had spent the week before practicing and practicing them. By understanding the definitions of the terms, I had a greater awareness for these techniques when seeing them in literature. This often helped me analyze the work as a whole and aided me when I wrote the first closed prompt on poetry. This terms, when used correctly, helped me on my American Dream open prompt and will help me in future essays including the ones on the AP exam. The Summary and Analysis also prepared me for the open prompt test by closing the gaps in my comprehension and tying loose ends. The open prompt test concluding The American Dream, and tested my knowledge and understanding of the book. For me, it served more as a test of time because I really struggled with putting everything I wanted to say about the novel in the allotted time span. Using this experience, I can improve on my time management so that I can be prepared for the AP exam.
However, some things were introduced to us in the last week. Though I am awful at it, we have looked into the multiple choice portion of the example. I thought the distractor portion of the reading really helped. By becoming familiar to the question types and potential answers, I can prepare for a vital part of the AP exam. We also were given a terms application pre-test and it was strange to see how knowing the definitions is definitely different than applying them. I hope to improve my applications skills as it is quite crucial to using the terms to my advantage when analyzing literature and writing essays, especially for the AP exam.
After the first read through of The American Dream, I was extremely confused. We discussed as a class what we thought the significance of the title and the play was. Our discussions mostly were directed at the immigration and the idea of the "American Dream" that many immigrants carried. I didn't feel as if that was right, especially after reading the "A Supermarket in California" by Allen Ginsberg. I drew similar parallels to each work as a criticism of American conformity, consumerism, and artificialness. Our class finally came to this conclusion with the help of Grandma. By using the poem "I Hear America Singing" by Walt Whitman, we could see Grandma as a stand in of American values.
Finishing the first read and discussion, we were given more articles that provided insight into the play's symbols and Edward Albee's personal life. I was amazed by all of the themes and archetypes that Albee used subtly and that I had completely missed. It was quite incredible to see how thought out the play was in its meaning and techniques amidst the nonsense and repetition. I was also shocked at how much of Albee's personal life was seen in the play as an adopted child. I could clearly see it in Grandma's preference to Daddy rather than Mommy as well as the emptiness of the Young Man. This articles led us into our second read of The American Dream and a nearly a week of discussion. I was able to experience and see everyone's unique interpretation of the themes and characters. I really liked discussing the power and status dynamics of the play as that was seen in the articles. While Grandma had the most power, her status was certainly the lowest. It was amazing to see how clever Edward Albee was in illustrating this idea, and the futility of gender roles by switching them with Mommy and Daddy as well.
This last week has served as a conclusion for many things. Our understanding of the literary terms were nailed in with a literary terms test. We had spent the week before practicing and practicing them. By understanding the definitions of the terms, I had a greater awareness for these techniques when seeing them in literature. This often helped me analyze the work as a whole and aided me when I wrote the first closed prompt on poetry. This terms, when used correctly, helped me on my American Dream open prompt and will help me in future essays including the ones on the AP exam. The Summary and Analysis also prepared me for the open prompt test by closing the gaps in my comprehension and tying loose ends. The open prompt test concluding The American Dream, and tested my knowledge and understanding of the book. For me, it served more as a test of time because I really struggled with putting everything I wanted to say about the novel in the allotted time span. Using this experience, I can improve on my time management so that I can be prepared for the AP exam.
However, some things were introduced to us in the last week. Though I am awful at it, we have looked into the multiple choice portion of the example. I thought the distractor portion of the reading really helped. By becoming familiar to the question types and potential answers, I can prepare for a vital part of the AP exam. We also were given a terms application pre-test and it was strange to see how knowing the definitions is definitely different than applying them. I hope to improve my applications skills as it is quite crucial to using the terms to my advantage when analyzing literature and writing essays, especially for the AP exam.
Friday, November 2, 2018
CLOSED PROMPT 1: POETRY
Exam: 2003 Free-Response Questions
Question 1: "The following poems are both concerned with Eros, the god of love in Greek mythology. Read the poems carefully. Then write an essay in which you compare and contrast the two concepts of Eros and analyze the techniques used to
create them."
Student Response: E
Student E's eloquently leads into their argument. They use techniques like tone, diction, syntax, imagery, and other devices to show Bridge's curious view and Stevenson's pessimistic view of Eros. The writer uses quotes directly from poems to support their arguments and their warrants refrains from unneeded summarization. However, their thesis (if it's the last sentence in the introduction) is pretty weak as the writer doesn't really explain what each poet's underlying assumptions are. I was left searching for them throughout the essay. The writer doesn't make clear connections to their main argument (curiosity v. pessimism). For example, the writer talks a lot about the awe and conflicting feelings Bridges feels toward Eros but doesn't make it clear how any of that relates to curiosity. As a result, it seems like there are just quotes and devices thrown out there with no cohesive focus, especially when their paragraphs are quite long. Although their essay show very strong comprehension, I felt as if the analysis could've been more insightful since it is quite surface level. I would give them a 7 for those reasons.
Student Response: A
Student A's introduction was impressively done and concise. I thought this student took their analysis further than Student E's did. They not only recognize the pessimistic view of the second poem but argues that it is because of the way humans have abused love. The writer uses multiple quotes and their techniques are clearly stated. Their overall focus is obvious with topic sentences. Each point that they make links to their overarching purpose. However, I found a lot of unnecessary repetition within each of the paragraphs. They use the word "praise" five total times in the first paragraph and phrases like "his praise with praiseworthy... diction" depicts the lack of maturity in their writing. Although they have a strong sense of direction, this repetition could've been done in a more sophisticated way. I thought this student's essay was very interesting and thoughtful. They illustrated their keen analytical and comprehension skills. Yet when it came to their execution, I would give Student A a 7 due to their repetition which led to a lack of unique insight at times.
Student Response: Y
Student's Y's introduction was extremely vague as their core argument is that Bridge's depiction of Eros is more "perfect" and Stevenson's depiction shows that Eros is "overused." With a weak argument, their supporting points are even weaker, one being "writing style." They argue that Bridge's writing is "more formal" without describing how or using examples to back this up. When they do use quotes, they are unnecessarily long. Their quotes basically make up their entire paragraphs and their warrants just summaries of quotes that are unneeded to begin with. Sometimes the student doesn't even bother setting up the quotes and they are just thrown in there. For example, they briefly mention the word "innocence" and add a quote that already states the innocence. In fact, the entire argument about innocence doesn't really fit into the paragraph where the main point is perfection. While innocence can sometimes be associated with perfection, that isn't always the case and the writer makes no effort to connect these two ideas. With although their ideas aren’t necessarily wrong, they are severely underdeveloped. As a result, I would give Student Y a 4.
Question 1: "The following poems are both concerned with Eros, the god of love in Greek mythology. Read the poems carefully. Then write an essay in which you compare and contrast the two concepts of Eros and analyze the techniques used to
create them."
Student Response: E
Student E's eloquently leads into their argument. They use techniques like tone, diction, syntax, imagery, and other devices to show Bridge's curious view and Stevenson's pessimistic view of Eros. The writer uses quotes directly from poems to support their arguments and their warrants refrains from unneeded summarization. However, their thesis (if it's the last sentence in the introduction) is pretty weak as the writer doesn't really explain what each poet's underlying assumptions are. I was left searching for them throughout the essay. The writer doesn't make clear connections to their main argument (curiosity v. pessimism). For example, the writer talks a lot about the awe and conflicting feelings Bridges feels toward Eros but doesn't make it clear how any of that relates to curiosity. As a result, it seems like there are just quotes and devices thrown out there with no cohesive focus, especially when their paragraphs are quite long. Although their essay show very strong comprehension, I felt as if the analysis could've been more insightful since it is quite surface level. I would give them a 7 for those reasons.
Student Response: A
Student A's introduction was impressively done and concise. I thought this student took their analysis further than Student E's did. They not only recognize the pessimistic view of the second poem but argues that it is because of the way humans have abused love. The writer uses multiple quotes and their techniques are clearly stated. Their overall focus is obvious with topic sentences. Each point that they make links to their overarching purpose. However, I found a lot of unnecessary repetition within each of the paragraphs. They use the word "praise" five total times in the first paragraph and phrases like "his praise with praiseworthy... diction" depicts the lack of maturity in their writing. Although they have a strong sense of direction, this repetition could've been done in a more sophisticated way. I thought this student's essay was very interesting and thoughtful. They illustrated their keen analytical and comprehension skills. Yet when it came to their execution, I would give Student A a 7 due to their repetition which led to a lack of unique insight at times.
Student Response: Y
Student's Y's introduction was extremely vague as their core argument is that Bridge's depiction of Eros is more "perfect" and Stevenson's depiction shows that Eros is "overused." With a weak argument, their supporting points are even weaker, one being "writing style." They argue that Bridge's writing is "more formal" without describing how or using examples to back this up. When they do use quotes, they are unnecessarily long. Their quotes basically make up their entire paragraphs and their warrants just summaries of quotes that are unneeded to begin with. Sometimes the student doesn't even bother setting up the quotes and they are just thrown in there. For example, they briefly mention the word "innocence" and add a quote that already states the innocence. In fact, the entire argument about innocence doesn't really fit into the paragraph where the main point is perfection. While innocence can sometimes be associated with perfection, that isn't always the case and the writer makes no effort to connect these two ideas. With although their ideas aren’t necessarily wrong, they are severely underdeveloped. As a result, I would give Student Y a 4.
Saturday, October 13, 2018
CLOSED PROMPT 2: PROSE 2
Exam: 2009 Free-Response Questions
Question 2: "The following selection is the opening of Ann Petry’s 1946 novel, The Street. Read the selection carefully and then write an essay analyzing how Petry establishes Lutie Johnson’s relationship to the urban setting through the use of such literary devices as imagery, personification, selection of detail, and figurative language."
In The Street, the chilling and forbidding atmosphere of Lutie Johnson's world is established. Through the personification, selection of detail, and the characterization of the protagonist, Anne Petry illustrates Lutie Johnson's determination to prevent the tormenting environment from hindering her ambitions.
Anne Petry portrays Lutie's struggles that have resulted from an unpleasant environment by personifying the harsh winds. Petry's chooses verbs that are generally used for humans as seen in fragments like "found all the dirt and dust," and "grabbed their hats." By doing this, Petry is able to bring the wind to life as an antagonist. It seems as if the wind has "wrapped newspaper around their feet" or "pried their scarves from around their necks" on purpose. Petry depicts the wind as consciously creating obstacles for the urban dwellers, including Lutie Johnson. By using figurative language to make the wind almost human-like, Petry portrays the setting as even more ferocious than it would've been otherwise. The wind is portrayed as a character whose forces are set on preventing Lutie from finishing a task as basic as reading a sign. Lutie's ability to accomplish this despite the living, tormenting wind highlights Lutie Johnson's determination against the unforgiving setting.
Anne Petry develops a determined protagonist, Lutie Johnson, who does all in her willpower to prevent the urban setting from impeding on her goals. Petry employs various writing techniques such as personification, selection of detail, and characterization to successfully do so.
Question 2: "The following selection is the opening of Ann Petry’s 1946 novel, The Street. Read the selection carefully and then write an essay analyzing how Petry establishes Lutie Johnson’s relationship to the urban setting through the use of such literary devices as imagery, personification, selection of detail, and figurative language."
In The Street, the chilling and forbidding atmosphere of Lutie Johnson's world is established. Through the personification, selection of detail, and the characterization of the protagonist, Anne Petry illustrates Lutie Johnson's determination to prevent the tormenting environment from hindering her ambitions.
Anne Petry portrays Lutie's struggles that have resulted from an unpleasant environment by personifying the harsh winds. Petry's chooses verbs that are generally used for humans as seen in fragments like "found all the dirt and dust," and "grabbed their hats." By doing this, Petry is able to bring the wind to life as an antagonist. It seems as if the wind has "wrapped newspaper around their feet" or "pried their scarves from around their necks" on purpose. Petry depicts the wind as consciously creating obstacles for the urban dwellers, including Lutie Johnson. By using figurative language to make the wind almost human-like, Petry portrays the setting as even more ferocious than it would've been otherwise. The wind is portrayed as a character whose forces are set on preventing Lutie from finishing a task as basic as reading a sign. Lutie's ability to accomplish this despite the living, tormenting wind highlights Lutie Johnson's determination against the unforgiving setting.
By choosing to describe certain elements in the passage in rich detail, Petry depicts the Lutie's perseverance in an unwelcoming situation. Petry spends much of her writing elaborating on the litter scattered around. Instead of simply stating its presence, Anne Petry describes the trash as “theater throwaways, announcements of dances," "old envelopes, newspapers," and "chicken bones and pork-chop bones." This exhibits the importance of not the only the trash, but its variety. This emphasizes the many struggles Lutie Johnson faces. There are many tough obstacles rather than one simple obstacle. These various obstacles are present when Lutie struggles to read the sign but she reads the sign despite them. This illustrates Lutie's struggles and even more so her greater persistence against the urban setting.
Furthermore, Lutie's unwavering strength in an unfavorable conditions is seen when Petry describes the main character in sharp contrast to the setting. The unforgiving setting is depicted by pedestrians trying to limit their "exposed surface to its [the wind's] violent assault." In contrast, Lutie shivers when "the cold fingers of the wind touched the back of her neck" which shows how unprepared Lutie is for the cold atmosphere. Petry continues by her description as the wind intrudes on Lutie's hair that "had been resting softly and warmly against her skin." The adjectives "softy" and "warmly" elicit comforting and pleasant feelings. Combined with the wind, the chilling weather makes the setting even less ideal for Lutie. However, when Lutie thinks that sign offering her a place of shelter is reasonable, it signals to readers that Lutie is determined to stay and not let the hostile environment cripple her goals.Anne Petry develops a determined protagonist, Lutie Johnson, who does all in her willpower to prevent the urban setting from impeding on her goals. Petry employs various writing techniques such as personification, selection of detail, and characterization to successfully do so.
Saturday, October 6, 2018
RESPONSE TO COURSE MATERIAL 1
I've never really understood the point of analyzing literature. I struggled seeing how small minor details or objects could be a symbol adding the profound meaning of a story. Does it matter if the shoes are blue? Is the weather even that important? Did the author actually intend for that or is my english teacher overanalyzing this? I couldn't grasp how everyone could make these overarching connections and I started to blindly follow them. When reading How to Read Literature Like a Professor, my thought process changed.
After I grasped how to analyze literature, we read how to read The Nuts and Bolts of College Writing which changed how I viewed writing. I learned that the “pompous style” wasn’t always the way to go. Though I was so used to writing formally and using thesaurus.com way almost religiously, being concise was the way to go. The novel definitely clarified how to properly use punctuation and essay structure.
Now that we could closely read and write about our analysis on literature, we started to learn about DIDLS in class. Though I already knew much about that, reading “I Hear America Singing” and “I, Too, Sing America” helped solidify that. While it was easy for me to see how everything else could add to a story's meaning/ theme, I couldn't see that in syntax. I could identify short sentences from long ones. I could see if interrupters were used. I recognized where conjunctions or what punctuation marks were used. How did any of that affect the story and even then how did it add to the theme? All of that clicked for me when I read the syntax as style and we did the activities in class. After reading Edgar Allen Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart," I could see how syntax added to the story. Longer sentences that became shorter sentences toward the end signified the loss of rationality and sanity the narrator felt as he slowly began to feel the weight of the murder. The use of interrupters depicted how the scattered the narrator's mind was and how he was losing grasp on reality. I learned that syntax can affect tone, mood, imagery, and many more techniques which in turn adds to the meaning/theme. I realized that syntax is best looked at when its interconnected with other devices rather than looking at it individually.
Throughout the course, we worked with literary terms, textbook activities, and close reading. These are extremely helpful for essays and how authors use many devices to get their point across. After reading “A Jury of Her Peers,” “The Bet,” and “A Supermarket in California, I realized how every author can create a unique message with even with similar techniques. The games were very fun and definitely allowed me to bond with other people (Rachel messed up our Quizlet Live game every time so Sean, Jamie, and I had a good laugh over that). The terms and the textbook reading helped illustrate how broad the realm of literature. There are so many types of proses and poems. There's different types of sentence and plot structures. They aided me in understandering how vast and different every author's work is.
Since proof is nearly impossible, discussions of the writer’s intentions are not especially profitable. Instead let’s restrict ourselves to what he did do and, more important, what we readers can discover in his work.Rather than obsessing on the author's intentions and what message they were conveying, I realized that it was more about how I perceived the writing. My focus should've been how the writings and symbols affected my view of the author's message/theme. The book provided a lot of great examples for symbolism, intertextuality, and writing techniques. It made a lot of connections that I recognized but never consciously thought about. How to Read like A Professor was the perfect guide for analyzing literature. It provided for me the opportunity to branch off and explore literature on my own.
After I grasped how to analyze literature, we read how to read The Nuts and Bolts of College Writing which changed how I viewed writing. I learned that the “pompous style” wasn’t always the way to go. Though I was so used to writing formally and using thesaurus.com way almost religiously, being concise was the way to go. The novel definitely clarified how to properly use punctuation and essay structure.
Now that we could closely read and write about our analysis on literature, we started to learn about DIDLS in class. Though I already knew much about that, reading “I Hear America Singing” and “I, Too, Sing America” helped solidify that. While it was easy for me to see how everything else could add to a story's meaning/ theme, I couldn't see that in syntax. I could identify short sentences from long ones. I could see if interrupters were used. I recognized where conjunctions or what punctuation marks were used. How did any of that affect the story and even then how did it add to the theme? All of that clicked for me when I read the syntax as style and we did the activities in class. After reading Edgar Allen Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart," I could see how syntax added to the story. Longer sentences that became shorter sentences toward the end signified the loss of rationality and sanity the narrator felt as he slowly began to feel the weight of the murder. The use of interrupters depicted how the scattered the narrator's mind was and how he was losing grasp on reality. I learned that syntax can affect tone, mood, imagery, and many more techniques which in turn adds to the meaning/theme. I realized that syntax is best looked at when its interconnected with other devices rather than looking at it individually.
Throughout the course, we worked with literary terms, textbook activities, and close reading. These are extremely helpful for essays and how authors use many devices to get their point across. After reading “A Jury of Her Peers,” “The Bet,” and “A Supermarket in California, I realized how every author can create a unique message with even with similar techniques. The games were very fun and definitely allowed me to bond with other people (Rachel messed up our Quizlet Live game every time so Sean, Jamie, and I had a good laugh over that). The terms and the textbook reading helped illustrate how broad the realm of literature. There are so many types of proses and poems. There's different types of sentence and plot structures. They aided me in understandering how vast and different every author's work is.
Saturday, September 22, 2018
CLOSED PROMPT 2: PROSE 1
Prose: "A Jury of Her Peers" by Susan Glaspell
At first glance, "A Jury of Her Peers" may seem like an intricate look into a classic murder mystery. However, Susan Glaspell crafts a union between two distinct yet similar women as they assemble pieces of Minnie Wright's crime. Through the use of irony and the indirect characterization of a submissive sheriff's wife, Glaspell depicts the underlying struggle and rebellion of women in a patriarchal society.
The irony found in the men's dialogue further portrays the conflict between women and their dominating counterparts. This is found when the men make the vital mistake of overlooking the kitchen. With a respected sheriff and competent investigator, who better to solve the murder of John Wright? Apparently it's the inexperienced women who "are used to worrying over trifles." The women's empathy used to comprehend hints that shed light on Minnie Wright's hidden life uncover murderer's motive. From the broken jars of cherries and the unfinished quilt, they presume that Minnie Foster struggled with her role as an obedient housewife. From the broken door on bird cage, they infer that John Wright was an controlling and abusive man. From the dead canary, the two women understand Minnie Foster unwillingly gave up her love of singing– the driving force to murder. Only Mrs. Hale and Mrs. Peters can place themselves into her shoes. This enables them to conclude that her husband's oppression was the motive of the murder. While the so-called capable men who were getting "the lay of things upstairs" dismiss the women's' genius work with a laugh, the women successful find the motive. The men believing the women were just concerned "whether she [Minnie] was going to quilt it or just knot it!" does not allow them to recognize the significance of the women in this case. This creates an opportunity for the women to defy their power. By hiding the evidence to prosecute Minnie Wright, the women undermine the struggle they face against men in society.
Initially being described as docile and subservient, Mrs. Peter's development plays a critical role in understanding the underlying gender conflicts. Though Mrs. Hale descriptions, Mrs. Peters does not look like a sheriff's wife. However her personality may say otherwise. Mrs. Peters is described as someone who "is married to the law” by Mr. Henderson. This idea is seen when Mrs. Peters tends to of all thing Minnie Wright needs while imprisoned. She follows the orders of her husband, "a heavy man with a big voice" who could never be seen doing the work of women! At first she appears as a firm person who cannot sympathize for Minnie Wright or her current situation as "the law is the law." It isn't until finds Mrs. Hale finds the dead canary that Mrs. Peter's rigidness is broken and she becomes more vulnerable. She suddenly empathizes with Minnie Wright as she reminisces on her childhood pet. She struggles to talk about the boy who murdered her kitten, saying "If they hadn't held me back I would have...hurt him." This moment emphasizes the inner conflict between her conditioned loyalty to her husband (and the law), and the emotional bond that unites her gender. Ultimately Mrs. Peters faced to either hand the incriminating evidence to her husband or uniting with Mrs. Hale to keep Minnie from being prosecuted. Mrs. Peters realizes her duty to her gender as "she could not touch the bird" and "She stood there helpless, foolish." By concealing the evidence, Mrs. Peters proves that she is not the submissive and cold sheriff's wise introduced at at the beginning of the story. Instead she aids Mrs. Hale in discreetly rebelling against the oblivious men who hold a dominant standing in society.
Although never directly stated, many literary techniques and strategies can be found to show support for Susan Glaspell's commentary on the different and prejudiced gender roles during her time. Specifically, the use of irony and Mrs. Peter's indirect character development in "A Jury of Her Peers" paint the perfect picture of the struggles and rebellion women faced in a male-dominated society.
At first glance, "A Jury of Her Peers" may seem like an intricate look into a classic murder mystery. However, Susan Glaspell crafts a union between two distinct yet similar women as they assemble pieces of Minnie Wright's crime. Through the use of irony and the indirect characterization of a submissive sheriff's wife, Glaspell depicts the underlying struggle and rebellion of women in a patriarchal society.
The irony found in the men's dialogue further portrays the conflict between women and their dominating counterparts. This is found when the men make the vital mistake of overlooking the kitchen. With a respected sheriff and competent investigator, who better to solve the murder of John Wright? Apparently it's the inexperienced women who "are used to worrying over trifles." The women's empathy used to comprehend hints that shed light on Minnie Wright's hidden life uncover murderer's motive. From the broken jars of cherries and the unfinished quilt, they presume that Minnie Foster struggled with her role as an obedient housewife. From the broken door on bird cage, they infer that John Wright was an controlling and abusive man. From the dead canary, the two women understand Minnie Foster unwillingly gave up her love of singing– the driving force to murder. Only Mrs. Hale and Mrs. Peters can place themselves into her shoes. This enables them to conclude that her husband's oppression was the motive of the murder. While the so-called capable men who were getting "the lay of things upstairs" dismiss the women's' genius work with a laugh, the women successful find the motive. The men believing the women were just concerned "whether she [Minnie] was going to quilt it or just knot it!" does not allow them to recognize the significance of the women in this case. This creates an opportunity for the women to defy their power. By hiding the evidence to prosecute Minnie Wright, the women undermine the struggle they face against men in society.
Initially being described as docile and subservient, Mrs. Peter's development plays a critical role in understanding the underlying gender conflicts. Though Mrs. Hale descriptions, Mrs. Peters does not look like a sheriff's wife. However her personality may say otherwise. Mrs. Peters is described as someone who "is married to the law” by Mr. Henderson. This idea is seen when Mrs. Peters tends to of all thing Minnie Wright needs while imprisoned. She follows the orders of her husband, "a heavy man with a big voice" who could never be seen doing the work of women! At first she appears as a firm person who cannot sympathize for Minnie Wright or her current situation as "the law is the law." It isn't until finds Mrs. Hale finds the dead canary that Mrs. Peter's rigidness is broken and she becomes more vulnerable. She suddenly empathizes with Minnie Wright as she reminisces on her childhood pet. She struggles to talk about the boy who murdered her kitten, saying "If they hadn't held me back I would have...hurt him." This moment emphasizes the inner conflict between her conditioned loyalty to her husband (and the law), and the emotional bond that unites her gender. Ultimately Mrs. Peters faced to either hand the incriminating evidence to her husband or uniting with Mrs. Hale to keep Minnie from being prosecuted. Mrs. Peters realizes her duty to her gender as "she could not touch the bird" and "She stood there helpless, foolish." By concealing the evidence, Mrs. Peters proves that she is not the submissive and cold sheriff's wise introduced at at the beginning of the story. Instead she aids Mrs. Hale in discreetly rebelling against the oblivious men who hold a dominant standing in society.
Although never directly stated, many literary techniques and strategies can be found to show support for Susan Glaspell's commentary on the different and prejudiced gender roles during her time. Specifically, the use of irony and Mrs. Peter's indirect character development in "A Jury of Her Peers" paint the perfect picture of the struggles and rebellion women faced in a male-dominated society.
Saturday, September 8, 2018
CLOSED PROMPT 1: PROSE
Exam: 2003 Free-Response Questions
Question 2: "The following passage is an excerpt from “The Other Paris,” a short story by the Canadian writer Mavis Gallant. Read the passage carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, explain how the author uses narrative voice and characterization to provide social commentary."
Student Response: YYY
YYY's student response depicts exceptional comprehension of the excerpt through their ability to recognize the satire, irony, circular logic, and overall foolishness of the characters—Howard and Carol. These techniques are stated at the very beginning which clearly point out the main points of their essay to the reader. They acknowledge the excessive and mindless pressure society has placed onto getting married quickly which seems to be the surface of the piece. However, the essay also exemplifies Gallant's mockery/ridicule of that expectation placed on marriage which demonstrates a higher level of understanding. The writer adds their own insightful interpretation of the excerpt in many ways to convey the characters' folly. The writer states that it would make more sense to "marry for love...and adopt the current circumstances to fit married life," and predicts that Howard and Carol will blame "not meeting initial conditions" when their marriage fails (even though the culprit is love). YYY's ability to capture these many ideas in their essay would earn them an 9. The only weakness I found was their lack of direct quotes, and almost excessive paraphrasing at the end of the second paragraph where they mention the characters' shared religion and the champagne.
Student Response: CCC
CCC's student response depicts what I believe is a sufficient understanding of Gallant's work. The writer remains focused on and answers the prompt fairly well. Unlike the other response, CCC lacks the thorough detail YYY places on the ludicrous proposal and college lectures as a statement to societal pressures on marriage. Half of the second paragraph is a just paraphrased summary of "The Other Paris." The analytical thinking that follows is quite simplistic— the expectations placed on marriage is "comical" yet many people still conform to fit them. The author fails to impressively acknowledge the characterization part of their essay, generalizing the characters as victims to society's power. Though, this is fairly adequate. The writer could've expanded on the characterization aspect by mentioning Carol's failed relationship with the medical student. This would've exhibited the writer's acknowledgement of Carol's past as emphasis on criteria over emotional attachment by society. The only specific insight readers get is when the writer calls them "sensible" which is inconsistent to when the writer stated that those who follow marriage expectations are doing so blindly (sensible people don't follow things blindly). For these reasons, I would score CCC's essay as a 5.
Student Response: JJJ
Unlike YYY's student response, JJJ was unsuccessful in forming a well-built insightful analysis or specific argument. Unlike CCC's students response, JJJ failed to grasp even a surface level understanding of how "The Other Paris" provided social commentary. The writer argues that the narrator has a "certain voice" because the narration has a "personal tone" without explaining what either of those ideas mean. The writer states that these ideas exemplify the main character's conflict and social concerns...also without explaining what the conflict or concerns even are. The word "insecure" is probably used a hundred times in the third paragraph, but that's beside the point. The author centers their attention on Howard and Carol's insecurities, displaying the reason behind each distinctly. The paragraph focuses on why the characters are insecure while how the satire/irony of their insecurities tie into societal pressures is completely missed in expense. The argument JJJ is making isn't cohesive as tones and insecurities have nothing to do with each other. If anything, it just just confused me more. Their points never allude to the nonsense and nearly absurd expectations placed on the characters to disregard their emotions for marriage. Instead, their essay is solely made up of vague details about tone and insecurity that don't connect/unite to make a comment about society. Because of this, I would score JJJ's response as a 3.
Question 2: "The following passage is an excerpt from “The Other Paris,” a short story by the Canadian writer Mavis Gallant. Read the passage carefully. Then, in a well-written essay, explain how the author uses narrative voice and characterization to provide social commentary."
Student Response: YYY
YYY's student response depicts exceptional comprehension of the excerpt through their ability to recognize the satire, irony, circular logic, and overall foolishness of the characters—Howard and Carol. These techniques are stated at the very beginning which clearly point out the main points of their essay to the reader. They acknowledge the excessive and mindless pressure society has placed onto getting married quickly which seems to be the surface of the piece. However, the essay also exemplifies Gallant's mockery/ridicule of that expectation placed on marriage which demonstrates a higher level of understanding. The writer adds their own insightful interpretation of the excerpt in many ways to convey the characters' folly. The writer states that it would make more sense to "marry for love...and adopt the current circumstances to fit married life," and predicts that Howard and Carol will blame "not meeting initial conditions" when their marriage fails (even though the culprit is love). YYY's ability to capture these many ideas in their essay would earn them an 9. The only weakness I found was their lack of direct quotes, and almost excessive paraphrasing at the end of the second paragraph where they mention the characters' shared religion and the champagne.
Student Response: CCC
CCC's student response depicts what I believe is a sufficient understanding of Gallant's work. The writer remains focused on and answers the prompt fairly well. Unlike the other response, CCC lacks the thorough detail YYY places on the ludicrous proposal and college lectures as a statement to societal pressures on marriage. Half of the second paragraph is a just paraphrased summary of "The Other Paris." The analytical thinking that follows is quite simplistic— the expectations placed on marriage is "comical" yet many people still conform to fit them. The author fails to impressively acknowledge the characterization part of their essay, generalizing the characters as victims to society's power. Though, this is fairly adequate. The writer could've expanded on the characterization aspect by mentioning Carol's failed relationship with the medical student. This would've exhibited the writer's acknowledgement of Carol's past as emphasis on criteria over emotional attachment by society. The only specific insight readers get is when the writer calls them "sensible" which is inconsistent to when the writer stated that those who follow marriage expectations are doing so blindly (sensible people don't follow things blindly). For these reasons, I would score CCC's essay as a 5.
Student Response: JJJ
Unlike YYY's student response, JJJ was unsuccessful in forming a well-built insightful analysis or specific argument. Unlike CCC's students response, JJJ failed to grasp even a surface level understanding of how "The Other Paris" provided social commentary. The writer argues that the narrator has a "certain voice" because the narration has a "personal tone" without explaining what either of those ideas mean. The writer states that these ideas exemplify the main character's conflict and social concerns...also without explaining what the conflict or concerns even are. The word "insecure" is probably used a hundred times in the third paragraph, but that's beside the point. The author centers their attention on Howard and Carol's insecurities, displaying the reason behind each distinctly. The paragraph focuses on why the characters are insecure while how the satire/irony of their insecurities tie into societal pressures is completely missed in expense. The argument JJJ is making isn't cohesive as tones and insecurities have nothing to do with each other. If anything, it just just confused me more. Their points never allude to the nonsense and nearly absurd expectations placed on the characters to disregard their emotions for marriage. Instead, their essay is solely made up of vague details about tone and insecurity that don't connect/unite to make a comment about society. Because of this, I would score JJJ's response as a 3.